God has taught me many things, over the years. So, I figured maybe it's time I shared some of those experiences. Who knows, maybe one or some of you have gone through similar things, so you'll be able to relate.
This amazing being touched my life in such a way that 'He' made himself clearly known. He took me through what I would consider 'levels' of training. He showed me what I would consider, miracles, on a daily basis. I don't think there's a day that 'He' didn't walk with me, in my life.
The first time I found out about 'Him' was when I was very young. Considering I was born Jewish, I wasn't even supposed to be in a church, but the powers that be, made sure I was. I recall kneeling down before him, and not even knowing why I was doing so. The priest that stood at the front of the church wouldn't give me Holy Communion, and at the time, I wasn't sure why, or why I even wanted it, but I didn't mind. It was like 'He' was feeding me His body and blood right through my heart. It was an amazing experience for me.
Time and time again, I would pass by a church and make the sign of the cross. No one knew I was doing it, until I was much older. No one taught me to do so, and I didn't even know why I was doing it, but I would pray for each and every church that I passed. It didn't even matter what denomination the church was, I just knew in my heart that 'He' wanted me to do it, but I didn't know why until later.
Little by little, 'He' made himself known to me, and he taught me what it meant to be a Real Christian. He showed me things that many people beg for, but never really find. He began interacting in my life, on a daily basis, showing me things that would probably make most people feel very uncomforable.
One of the very first times 'He' made sure I knew 'He' was there, was when I married. My husband and I were very young. I was working at a hospital, but I just began work there, and hadn't been paid, yet. There was no food in the house, because we had to use every last penny for our new apartment's deposits and what little furniture we were able to scrounge up wasn't much. We found an old pool table, which doubled as our bed, because we could only afford a mattress (no boxspring).
I still had several weeks of training to go through, before I was paid. My husband wasn't working yet, as he couldn't find a job. Unfortunately, our food situation was not good, either. We were literally living on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. At some point in time, my mother invited my new husband and myself to her home to eat a meal. I was ecstatic that we were finally going to eat a good meal, but both he and I knew it could be awhile before we ate again.
With no money coming in, and my pride being as high as it was, we both worried about our future source of food. We began the almost mile walk to my mother's house, and as we did, we followed a path we both knew all too well.
Now, picture this in your head. The path we took was very dark. There were very few lights visible, and the ones that were there, were very dim. The grass was about knee-high. The odds of anyone finding anything along this path were nil to none.
I hung my head as we walked, almost in tears, fraught with worry of what was to come. That was one of the first times 'He' made himself known to me, in front of someone else. He had made himself known to me many times before, but it was never visible by anyone else, until that particular day.
I knew 'He' knew what we needed, and I had faith in 'Him', but I didn't know what 'He' had in store for me, yet. He tended to teach me what he wanted me to know, but sometimes, he would use 'a lack of something' to do so. Hence, my worry of what was to follow.
As I hung my head, I happened to notice something glistening in the grass. The grass came up to the top of my arm, as I reached down to investigate what was below my feet. There, amongst the tall blades of grass, barely visible, because of the darkness around it, was a ten dollar bill. Both of us stood there in amazement. What were the odds of finding ten dollars in a pitch black area that had grass which stood as tall as my knees? We both knew what had just happened...a miracle!
Over the next few days, we ate normally, and we attributed it to God stepping in and taking over. Of course, that wasn't the only time he stepped in. Over the next few years, there were numerous incidents that had occurred which told me 'He' was there. I had no understanding of why, at that time, 'He' would take the time to step in as often as 'He' had, but as I grew in my faith and understanding of 'Him', I began to notice just how much 'He' loved me. It was like 'He' was speaking to me through my heart, each and everyday. He was reaching me in a way that only I understood, but it wasn't a way that I could share with others, at least not yet.
'He' came to my rescue all the time, picking me up, sending me what I needed, and giving me gifts that I didn't always understand. Sometimes, I treasured these gifts, and other times, I cursed them because they made me appear different from others.
I will never forget this one very special Christmas. 'He' came into my home and showed me just how much 'He' loved me.
I had just divorced. When I left, I took very little with me. I only took my three children's clothes, my own, a small couch, a small keyboard, and a TV. It was a very rough time for me, and the first time that I had, truly, lived alone. I was working at a bar, of all places, but it was the only place I could find work. I wasn't making very much money either. It was barely enough to pay my rent, utilities, and babysitter. There wasn't much left over for food, and certainly not enough to cover any frivolous items.
We were attending an Episcopalean church, at the time. It was Christmas Eve and all I had in my purse was one dollar. I put it in the offering plate, and I prayed that God would respond, as 'He' had so many times before. I knew that 'He' knew my situation.
That night, I went home and explained to my children that there would be no Christmas toys that year. I also explained to them that there would be no Christmas meal, either. My daughter looked up at me, and she said, "It's ok, Mom, we understand!" My son said, "All our friends are going to be outside playing with their toys, and we won't even get a Christmas dinner?" He saw the tears in my eyes, though, and he put his arms around me, and said, "It's ok, Mom. We don't need anything." He seemed to understand too, but I knew it was breaking their hearts, and it was breaking mine. My little one cried, and so did I! We didn't have money for decorations and I thought to myself, we don't even have a tree...not even a small one. That's when I realized what it was like to have to tell one's children that they would go without a Christmas.
I put what little was left of that night's spaghetti dinner in the frig, for the following day's meal. I kept seeing what I thought was sure to be the next day's events, playing over and over in my head, as if they were already occurring. I searched for the right words to say to my children the following morning, knowing inside my heart, that there were no words that would make up for a Christmas that would never occur.
How could I explain to them that all their friends would be playing with their toys while my children would see none? How could I explain why we would be the only family on the block that didn't have a Christmas tree? How could I explain that they would be eating leftover spaghetti (what little there was), while the scent of our neighbor's Christmas dinners crept into our home?
I finally went upstairs to my bedroom, and I waited for the following day's tears and inevitable questions to arrive. Hour after hour slipped by slowly, with me tossing and turning, in anticipation of the scene to come. I finally cried myself to sleep, as the night slipped into the early morning hours.
Around 7 am, my youngest ran upstairs. I attempted to sheepishly explain why there was no tree or presents, once again. However, before I could open my mouth, she said, "Mom, you gotta see this," as she grabbed me and practically yanked me down the stairwell. As she did, I noticed something I hadn't noticed when I went to bed.
There, wrapped around the bannister, was a long and winding, shiny band of silver. She pulled me down to the half way point of the stairwell, and as she did, my eyes peered at something that I had no comprehension of, whatsoever. Close to my window was the most beautiful, enormous tree I had ever laid eyes upon. And, just below the tree, scattered from one end of the room to the other, were presents wrapped in every type of colored paper, possible. I looked around, and another sight beheld my eyes (which were already tearing up in amazement). We had a small glass table that we had picked up at a thrift shop. On it, was the biggest, most beautiful turkey, I had ever laid eyes on. Corn, Apple Pie and Mashed Potatoes...were all visible from where I stood. I was amazed and shocked beyond belief. God, truly, had provided, exactly as 'He' said 'He' would.
I wondered, who..what...how? Was it the church that did this? No, that couldn't be...they didn't have keys to my place. The question ran over and over in my head. Who would do this? How did they get in? Why would they do it?
The children asked if they could open their presents, and I told them, 'umm...I guess so." But, I kept wondering how, who, why? I proceeded to walk into my kitchen to get some plates, and that's when I saw her; one of my best friends. She heard of our dilemma from one of my children, and although she didn't have much money, she got together all the toys she was given as a child, and she gathered toys from her brothers that still had them. She wrapped them all up, and gave them to my children. Then, she wrapped up a few of her old dresses that I had previously admired, and she gave them to me. She, additionally, went out and bought a Christmas meal and tree that lasted weeks. She said, "You helped me out and gave me a place when I needed it, and I knew you needed help, this time." I hugged her, and I cried...and I knew that 'HE' was behind it all, because that's the way 'He' works.
My faith became even stronger, with each passing day, and 'His' interactions became even more frequent.
To be continued...
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